What parents absolutely must know about game addiction right now.
What’s that Lassie? Timmy is stuck in a game? As a parent you have a lot to worry about, and games shouldn’t have to be added to that list. For some parents, games are now a suspicious piece of technology, worse yet something that appears to have sucked in little Timmy. This apprehension could have something to do with hearing that games are violent and addictive (from the news as well as from advertisements run by game publishers). It could be some other things as well. This article isn’t about getting into why parents are apprehensive. This article is going to give you a quick rundown, with a few of the links that I’ve found most helpful. While problems certainly can develop with your kids’ play, understanding game addiction allows you to distinguish between problems and play. Games can be a great deal of fun, but certain types of games might not be for every family.
1. Gaming can be a hobby.
Surprise! The biggest oversight made by journalists, therapists and others when talking about “game addiction,” is to forget that we’re talking about games. Yes, some people certainly do have problems (I, on occasion, play like a complete junkie). No, the vast majority of keyboards are not injecting heroin into players. While I do think that games, and to a lesser extent television, may be attractive in very new and unique ways, for instance media experience, that’s beyond the scope of this post.
The Trouble with “Addiction.” Stanford’s Nick Yee brings up some reasons why people get so worked up over games. He suggests that our quickness to call games, “addictive,” has a lot to do with a lack of social acceptance for gaming generally.
People spend their time at thousands of different hobbies. Kids in highschool might spend time at speech and debate, cross country running, choir, football, baseball, or trying to win student elections. Adults might go drinking, go to different musical or theatrical shows, or play board games. The world in general watches television for hours on end. A lot of the people playing a lot of games are making the conscious decision to do so, just like millions of people make a decision to watch CSI or Lost. Like any hobby it brings specific benefits to the people that play, even if it’s just to have something to talk about, “around the watercooler.” Still, a lot of people are having trouble controlling their gaming (adults as well as kids), but we’ll get to that in a second.
2. Addiction isn’t the Right Word
Addiction is the wrong word to use. Medical professionals almost always use the term “dependency,” in order to refer to what we would most often call “addiction.” The DSM-IV, psychology’s diagnostic manual used in order to identify and treat most known mental health problems, never uses the word addiction.
So why do I use the word addiction in this site? To be understood. It’s not my preference to use the word, but right now it is being used by the vast majority of the academics, clinicians, parents, media and even gamers involved. Stop calling games “addictive!” is an article by Ernest Adams (July 2002), a well-respected writer and game designer. In it he demands that the games industry stop using the word. They haven’t.
3. Young Kids can Control their Play, Right?
Almost never. As a parent there are a number of steps that you can take to control your kids’ play. The following are links to information that you need to be wary of, as well as some balanced and thoughtfull pieces.
On this page, Dr. Kimberly Young approaches only problematic gaming. That’s fine, since she’s only interested in treating addicts. She is, however, one to take with a grain of salt. Young offers her unique understanding and criteria for addiction as an option for controlling young kids. John Grohol, founder of psychcentral.com, critiques her understanding of online addictions, noting Young as having, “all the originality of a trash romance novel writer,” when creating her criteria for online addictons. And Grohol isn’t the only one to criticize Young. I’ll go into more depth on the various problems in Young’s research with future posts, but it’s beyond the scope of this one. What you need to know is that there are problems with her research that really need to be fixed, and unfourtunately a lot of otherwise brilliant researchers use her stuff - just making the problem worse. Be skeptical, especially when you hear either, “Internet Addiction Disorder,” or “Internet Addiction.”
Smith and Jones has a program, centered around the 12-step model, where kids can be checked into detox. Marc Kern of addictioninfo.com, has worked on the premise that the 12-step program isn’t for everyone. It works very well for many, including some of my close family. But he’s quite right, every individual and family has to choose something that works for their own circumstances.
In an intelligent interview between Therapist Shavaun Scott and Nick Yee, the two discuss problem gaming. In short, Shavaun suggests that the following simple criteria be observed when setting limits for children. The criteria are linked here, though in my opinion the article is a must read for parents.
- Set clear limits regarding computer use and enforce them. Internet use is a privilege not a right.
- Be a good role model in living an active and balanced lifestyle.
- Build a positive and loving relationship enjoying a variety of activities together, as much as it’s in your power to do so.
Every family and individual has a different limit to what kind of games, and how much gaming is appropriate. Set limits and hold your children (and yourself, if applicable o_O) to them!
I would welcome any comments, and if you’re looking for just a little bit more info, then definitely check out my gamasutra articles: Are Games Addictive? The State of the Science, and Games and Addiction. Are we There Yet? Good luck!
Update: Just the other day I was visiting friends, and a 13 year old boy was playing small web-based games. He was sitting about 6 feet from his mother. She was having a vibrant discussion with another woman while her son played some of the most graphic and disturbing games that I have ever seen. Body parts and blood spattered all over the screen. He shot an automatic weapon, and giggled with glee every time that blood spattered. It made me think nostalgically about how I used to be able to enjoy crappy games. Still, his mom did the best thing that a parent can do, she walked over to see what her son was playing. At first, he showed her all of the very tame games, games that he wasn’t really playing. So I said, “hey dude! Show her the REALLY cool one!” He did, she wasn’t happy with it, and then she set limits.
Every family makes different decisions about what kind of TV is right, because parents understand TV. The most violence I ever got at this guy’s age was the Ninja Turtles. With games, parents don’t have to hover around the computer like a vulture, but they do need to drop in every now and again. There’s nothing better than earnestly taking an interest in what kind of games are being played. Trust me, there are a lot of very different games out there. The same goes with addiction. You don’t have to keep the computer on lock down, or watch your kids every second of the day. Pop in every so often, ask them how much they’ve been playing, and see whether their estimates of their own play match real life. Set the limits that work for you. Â
And now for a fun example. Later on in the evening, the boy and two friends watched Saw III, which was rated R for strong grisly violence and gore, sequences of terror and torture, nudity and language. The original Saw gained notoriety for featuring something along the lines of situation where two men were locked in a room. The first man to saw off his own leg, reach the pistol in the middle of the room and shoot the other would be released. The parents involved had made a conscious decision to rent the movie. They trusted their children to be responsible consumers of media.Â
Did these parents sit down and actually watch sections of this movie? I’m really not sure, and it probably isn’t my business anyway.
What I certainly can recommend is that you take an interest in what your kids consume. Parents need to be given autonomy to make their own decisions, but in order to best use that autonomy they need to understand the media that their kids watch. What’s the right amount for your kids to be playing? What’s the right content for your kids to be seeing? Make a decision and stand behind it. At least, that’s my professional opinion.
What’s yours? Â
Neils Clark :: Jan.01.2007 :: Game Addiction ::
[...] When I originally wrote this post, “What parents absolutely need to know about game addiction right now,” I was primarily representing other people’s opinions. My opinion has always been that parents need to have the autonomy to make decisions that work for their family. Parents get to choose what’s right for their kids. Some kids get to play 5 hours a day, some get to play for 30 minutes. Some can only watch PG-rated movies, other can watch the R-rated stuff with the big kids. That’s cool. I get it, and it’s what I support. [...]
You know during part of my week I work as psychotherapist in a community mental health clinic, and one of my jobs is monitoring charts and the work of other therapists. Thus I’m exposed to a great deal of material on dysfuntional, highly disturbed kids and the families they come from.
I was just discussing with my colleagues yesterday that we are seeing more and more increasingly disturbed young children. Incredibly angry, violent behavior, huring animals, other children, too violent to function in school I’m not saying that this is directly caused by any kind of media exposure, as I think overall it’s a consequence of abusive and/or completely inadequate parenting. There is also an increasing problem with meth exposure in utero, which causes symptoms that have been labeled “ADHD” and many problems with aggression, inability to focus attention, and a host of other problems.
I guess the point I’m making is that there are simply a lot of bad parents. I think sensible parents who have reasonable capacities for monitoring themselves and their children can make responsible judgments regarding what media exposure is safe and appropriate for their kids. Unfortunately there seem to be increasing numbers of parents without sense, who cannot even monitor their own internal processes or behavior.
I could write a book on it, and I’ve probably made a point so I’ll stop hogging your blog. There are a lot of books I’d like to write so just add that one to the list. What do you do with “parents” who cannot be trusted to raise puppies?